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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29413434">In which Artemis Sr is a dick</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thispersonishuman/pseuds/thispersonishuman'>thispersonishuman</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And also angst, Angst, Aro Artemis, Artemis Fowl Big Bang, Child Neglect, Crack, Crack and Angst, Gen, I have a plot I swear, Not Canon Compliant, OOC characters, POV Changes, POV Multiple, Timeline What Timeline, Trans Character, Transphobia, afbb21, angeline fow is also disliked in this, aro character, arophobia, but slightly less than artemis sr, canon is mine now, i'm only tagging the characters that have an actual part in this fic, idk what else to tag, idk when this is set, juliet has a girlfriend, mainly because idk if they're ooc or not, teen rating to be safe, the twins are around 7 or 8, the twins exist, this goes from next to no dialogue to almost all dialogue lol, this is like half serious and half crack, trans artemis, we do not like artemis sr in this fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:34:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29413434</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thispersonishuman/pseuds/thispersonishuman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Artemis Sr is a dick, Beckett and Myles are chaotic, Butler wants Artemis Sr gone, and Artemis enables the twins.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Angeline Fowl/Artemis Fowl I, Artemis Fowl I &amp; Artemis Fowl II, Artemis Fowl II &amp; Beckett Fowl, Artemis Fowl II &amp; Beckett Fowl &amp; Myles Fowl, Artemis Fowl II &amp; Myles Fowl, Beckett Fowl &amp; Myles Fowl, Domovoi Butler &amp; Artemis Fowl II</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Artemis Fowl Big Bang 2021</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>In which Artemis Sr is a dick</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>tw for transphobia, arophobia, and child neglect</p><p>edit: some minor edits to formatting, and notes</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Artemis Sr was back and safe at home. His wife was safe (although much farther from him that he would prefer) and he had his daughter home with him, and everything was all right with the world at last.</p><p>Now all he had to do was figure out when Artemis had started choosing to wear suits over dresses and insisting she was ‘aromantic’. Did his daughter believe that no one would love her? Is that why she had started insisting she was a boy and didn’t feel romantic love? Truly, whatever had gotten into Artemis while he was gone. At least he was home and could get to fixing that. </p><p>Ah, Artemis was here. “My darling daughter! How nice to see you, dear. What have you been doing? It feels like I’ve barely gotten a chance to speak with you since I’ve returned.” </p><p>“I’ve already told you, I am not a girl, I am male, father; use the pronouns he and him for me. As for what I have been doing, I’ve been doing this and that, school, working on my private projects.” Artemis said in a calm voice with his hands held behind his back. “I’d rather talk about how your recovery has been going father.” </p><p>“Artemis, sweetie, I know you’ve been concerned about our family while I was gone, but you don’t have to pretend that you're a boy! I will only accept you as the beautiful young lady we both know you actually are, and not the boy you're playing pretend as.” Artemis Sr said in a patronizing voice. </p><p>“Father, if you don’t want to accept me as the boy I have repeatedly let you know I am, I would rather not spend time with you. Time that could be devoted to my studies, or playing with the twins that actually like me as I am. I promised the twins I would make baking soda volcanoes with them, and I would rather spend more time with them, rather than you who doesn't even try to hide your dislike of who I am now. Goodbye, Father. </p><p>Artemis slammed the door as she left the room. </p><p>What did he do wrong that time? Artemis could have sworn he hadn’t gone wrong, and yet his daughter was still refusing to speak to him, and Butler, although not very talkative in nature, was barely speaking to him at all outside of the bare minimum, except to tell him that he would be watching him. Considering he was a Butler, and a Butler is expected to defend their charge with their life that wasn’t anything unexpected. It didn’t make experiencing Butler’s more protective side, that he usually reserved for the worst people, that might hurt his daughter, any more fun. And he had barely seen but a glimpse of Juliet since she had started her wrestling career, except when she had decided to visit him and make it very explicitly known what would happen to him if Artemis gave approval. The cheerful voice that she’d used, combined with the hidden threats he knew Juliet was capable of was quite a bit unnerving, if he was being honest with himself. (He’d made a point of being honest with himself more often as not to waste the second chance he’d gotten at life.) If he was honestly thinking about it, he couldn't get why the Butler's had been so against him trying to fix his daughter. She was just pretending to be something she wasn't, and it wasn't like she was the one that paid them. </p><p>What was unexpected was the twins. He had hoped that they would listen to him, but it seems that Artemis had managed to corrupt them before he even had a chance. </p><p>At least his wife agreed that Artemis was being ridiculous, although he didn’t get very many chances to talk to her since she always seemed to be halfway around the globe now that he was officially nearly better. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>Artemis Fowl the Second was upset. Most people wouldn’t be able to tell, but it was in the small things; the way he was just slightly tenser than normal, and the way he was playing with his tie were instant tells. No, most people wouldn’t be able to tell Artemis was upset except Butler. Butler, who had known Artemis for all of his life, could tell his young charge was upset. Every time Artemis returned from a visit to his father he would return mad at his father for not accepting him and mad at himself for expecting that his father <em>would</em> accept him. (If Butler was being honest with himself... Well, let’s just say Artemis wasn’t the only one upset at Artemis the First.) </p><p>When Artemis was upset it meant Butler would have to have to deal with either Artemis writing or Artemis in a tech mood. </p><p>For Butler, Artemis writing meant getting Artemis coffee and letting Artemis bounce ideas off of him. (Despite that, what Artemis was writing was unknown to Butler, and likely would be for quite a while.) And judging by how Artemis had already had two cups of coffee, and the maniacal smile on his face, if Artemis was in a writing mood, he’d probably end up having to drug Artemis so that Artemis would actually go to sleep before midnight. </p><p>If Artemis was in a tech mood, however, Butler would probably still have Artemis bouncing ideas off of him, but he’d have to try and coax Artemis away from the more dangerous and suicidal ideas, like when Artemis modified a gun from L.E.P. tech and tried to test it himself. Or the time Artemis built an armored chest plate to wear under his suits and decided to test it by wearing it and tried to test it by having the security system fire at him. Butler only managed to catch Artemis because he had to do his nightly check of the manor later than usual and caught Artemis in the kitchen. </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>Artemis was tired. Contrary to what Butler thought, he did know when he was tired and needed sleep, he just couldn’t shut his brain enough to fall asleep. He also knew what the particular mix of decaf coffee and sleeping drugs that Butler liked to use on him tasted like. He had been working for more than eight hours, and had been awake at least another eight before he came back from visiting his father. </p><p>Artemis knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep without the aid of sleeping medicine that night, so yes, he had taken the coffee knowing it had sleeping drugs in it; he just hadn’t realized it would take effect so quickly. </p><p>“Apparently I’m more tired than I thought.” Artemis mumbled quietly to himself, the effects of the drug already starting to take effect. </p><p>Artemis closed his laptop and fell onto the couch he had added for that exact reason. </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>Knowing he was aromantic, most people wouldn’t think so, and Artemis would never admit it, but he found writing romance fun. What he would admit was that he liked the power being an author gave him. Being able to control whole universes and everything in them? Artemis loved having that power. If he was being honest with himself, he would say it was because of the lack of control he currently had in his own life. Alas, Artemis was rarely honest with himself about feelings, so he did not say this. What he did say, when asked by Minerva a few weeks ago, was that he enjoyed the feeling of being a god in the eyes of his characters. Artemis knew that Minerva knew Artemis was not being 100% sincere but she, unlike Artemis knew when not to pry which Artemis was quite glad about. </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>Artemis could swear that his father had been at the hospital recovering the last time he saw him. Although he was surprised, he didn’t let any of the shock he felt at seeing his father in the dining room show as he went into the kitchen to eat. Luckily for Artemis, his father was engrossed in his book, and hadn’t noticed them in the room yet. </p><p>“I should have oiled the doors yesterday.” Butler thought regretfully, as he pulled open the squeaky kitchen door for Artemis. </p><p>“Artemis, Butler? How did you get in here so quietly?!” Artemis Sr said, the screech of the kitchen door opening having drawn him out of the book he was reading. </p><p>Artemis looked at his father with a cold look in his eyes. </p><p>Artemis Sr chuckled, taken aback by the cold look Artemis looked at him with, not at all deterred from trying to make conversation with his child. </p><p>“If I didn’t know better from that look in your eyes I’d say you were upset with me!” Artemis Sr said, not knowing better at all. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever! What are you planning on doing today? Maybe we can make it a father-daughter bonding day instead, eh?” </p><p>“Father, I don’t think you remember this, but you don’t have a daughter. As I have told you many, <em>many</em> times. What you do have, however, is a son. If you feel like spending time with your son, and not the daughter you like to pretend to have, I’d be happy to spend some time with you father. But for now, I will be avoiding you until you come to terms with the fact I am not the girl you like to think of me as.” </p><p>Why was his father acting so oddly? At least before, he had known that his father was a criminal. He had aspired to be like his father, after all, but now his father was not accepting that he was not the perfect little daughter that he had left behind and Artemis was mad. And as if that wasn’t enough his father also wanted to ‘turn a new leaf’ and Artemis could not figure out his father’s why he was behaving so oddly now that he had returned. </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>In the kitchen, Butler began to make Artemis his usual breakfast of waffles and eggs. </p><p>“Are you alright, Artemis?” </p><p>“I’m fine.” Artemis said tensely, with visible bags under his eyes, and uncharastically untamed hair. </p><p>His young charge was decidedly <em>not</em> fine, but Butler decided not to remark upon the obvious lie, knowing Artemis did not wish to talk about his father today. </p><p>“I shall begin the work on my rocket prototype today, Butler.” </p><p>Butler nodded, and went to make himself some toast and fruit. </p><p>They ate together in a comfortable silence, broken only by the twins' loud argument about whether turtles or tortoises were better. </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>“Butler, please get me my tea while I start on a prototype of my rocket.”</p><p>Butler nodded and went to grab Artemis’ preferred tea blend.</p><p>Artemis put his hair up in a bun and got to work. </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>The rocket was ready for the first test to start. Artemis could test it remotely, so he decided to get something to eat. He had been working on the rocket long enough that he had missed lunch. Hopefully his father wouldn’t be there, but with his luck, he would be. </p><p>As Artemis walked to the kitchen he wondered how Holly was doing. Last he heard of her, she had her hands full with her younger sibling, whom he believed was named Ivy. He certainly didn’t envy her, having siblings himself. At least those two didn’t have access to the things Holly’s sibling would have access to with an L.E.P. officer for a sister. That would be horrifying. Although that what they got up to even <em>without</em> access to tech as dangerous as the fairies would always manage to impress him… </p><p>Artemis shook his head. He was lost in his thoughts again. Last time he had been lost in his thoughts while walking in the manor, he ended up with glitter all over him after he had tripped one of Beckett and Myles’ traps. Best try and keep his head in the present, he had asked Butler to meet him in the gazebo with lunch earlier and it wouldn’t do to be lost in thought while walking. </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>Butler was waiting in the gazebo with food. Scampi, one of his favourite fish meals, and some fruits and whipped cream for dessert. They ate in a comfortable silence, both of them reading books. </p><p>Artemis glanced at Butler’s book.</p><p>“Is that a Violet Tsirblou novel you’re reading, Butler?” Artemis said fidgeting with his tie as he noticed a cover he was very familiar with, having spent much longer designing on it’s cover than he normally did. </p><p>“Yes, it is.” Butler said absentmindedly, distracted by the book in his hands. </p><p>“Is it any good? I saw it earlier, and I’m curious.” </p><p>“I quite like it, although you might not. Most of Violet Tsirblou’s writing is of romance.” </p><p>In his head, Artemis was berating himself for not noticing that one of the few people he would consider a friend read the books he wrote. How had he missed it? He was genuinely upset at himself for not noticing that Butler read his books, but at the same time he was proud that Butler was reading his writing.  </p><p>Artemis could not deal with the emotions that that brang, so he finished his fish and stood up. </p><p>“I am going to my study, Butler.” </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>As he walked back to his study, he passed the twins playing in the hall. It looked like they had broken a vase, mother would be upset when she returned. </p><p>Artemis didn’t think much of it, his mind still on his latest book, and the newest character he'd created. He would use a character inspired by Butler as the main character’s bodyguard. </p><p>It definitely wasn’t because he was glad Butler liked his writing. Nope. He just wanted the main character to have a bodyguard. That was all. </p><p>The bodyguard’s name would be Dominique, and he liked cats. He had three cats that his husband took care of more often than not. He believed that the moon landing was faked. Artemis was now invested in Dominique and his life and had to write a spin off, about the bodyguard and his life. </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>Myles and Beckett were plotting. Had anyone seen them, they would have been concerned, for they were speaking in a language known only to them, and they were completely surrounded by glitter and shards of broken glass. </p><p>Had anyone been able to understand them, they would have heard that they were plotting Artemis Fowl Sr's demise, for they had seen their family upset at him. </p><p>It had nothing to do with him taking away their video game console because they had fought. </p><p>Absolutely nothing at all to do with that. </p><p>They had been planning to rope Juliet and her girlfriend, Sarah, into their plans, but Juliet and Sarah had to leave for work before they could recruit them. Both Juliet and Sarah traveled a lot. Their wrestling careers took them all over, so it was rare that they both were in the same country without having to plan for it, like they had been earlier that week, although that was not of importance. </p><p>Right now, their plan consisted of glitter and hair dye. The hair dye was for their father’s shampoo, and the glitter would be for his closet. </p><p>If anyone was in that particular wing right around then, they would hear cackling and explosions. But since the twins knew that that would probably concern their family, they had chosen a tucked away room, that was in an out-of-the-way wing not often used aside from the occasional parties that Angeline had been prone to throwing before her husband had disappeared. </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>It smelt like smoke, although if the fire alarms still hadn’t gone off, it likely was not as bad as it smelt. </p><p>Artemis heard the distant screams of his father and smiled. Looks like the twins had gotten to him. He turned back to his laptop and decided that the bodyguard would have a cat named Poe. </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>The twins high-fived as they went back into the passageway. They’d successfully switched their father’s shampoo with hair dye and put mud and bugs in his clothing drawers. (They had decided the glitter would be better for a glitter bomb.) </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>The next morning, Angeline had returned to take a break from her jet-setting, before inevitably leaving again in a few days to weeks and Artemis Sr was quite happy about that. </p><p>On the eve of her arrival, their father gathered all of them to let it be known that they were going to have a family breakfast on the day of their mother's return. Artemis was not very happy about it, but seeing as it was only a breakfast, and the twins were also there he would likely be able to survive. (Privately, he did very much want to see the results of whatever it was the twins had done earlier, although he would never admit it aloud.) </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>"Hello mother, how was your last stop?" Artemis asked, stirring his soup boredly. </p><p>"Oh, it was amazing dear!" Angeline said, apparently not noticing Artemis' bored tone. "The Bahamas are beautiful! I swam with dolphins, and I had the most amazing food. We should all have a family vacation there one day, would that not be lovely?" </p><p>"Did you see sea monsters or sharks mom?!" Beckett asked, bouncing with excitement, successfully distracting her from the vacation idea she had gained. </p><p>"Sadly, I did not, although I did see the most adorable fish!" </p><p>"Can we see the pictures you took of the Bahamas mother?" </p><p>"Of course!" </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>Artemis Sr's eye was twitching with anger. His wife was at home, yet he had barely had a minute of her time to himself, her being occupied with the twins and his daughter. He'd not even got her to himself in the evening, since she had allowed the twins to sleep with them. And of course, his daughter was quite smug about that, but acted like the picture of innocence when his wife was near her. He couldn't understand why she wanted to be so occupied with 'family,' she was barely home half the time, and he was the one trying to turn a new leaf, not her! </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>"Artemis!" Beckett shouted. "Me and Myles came up with a way to make dad leave you alone!"</p><p>"First, it's "Myles and I" Beckett, and second our father isn't really bothering me all that much in actuality." </p><p>"Can we show you our plan anyway Artemis?" Myles asked, Beckett and Myles looking at Artemis with puppy dog eyes. </p><p>Artemis sighed, "Let us see your plan." </p><p>"First Beckett and I already made father’s clothing dirty, and put temporary dye in his hair products. Next we’re planning to annoy him until he can’t take it anymore"</p><p>Artemis’ eyes widened as Beckett procured a white board, seemingly out of thin air and started to draw what they had planned as Myles spoke. </p><p>“Did you get that Artemis?”</p><p>“Yes, that was certainly an, <em>interesting</em>, plan to say the least.” </p><p>The twins smiled in sync.</p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>"Dad! Me 'nd Myles made you some cookies! We used one of Butler's old recipes that he found, and Butler and Artemis helped us make them! They're peanut butter cookies, with peanut butter icing! Try them!" Beckett said enthusiastically, shoving a plate of extremely burnt looking cookies with white frosting in odd shapes in his father's face. </p><p>"Are you sure you want me to try them right now Beckett? It’s nearly dinner, so maybe we could have them later, as dessert for  after dinner instead?" </p><p>"But we want to know if you like them father!" Myles said, pouting at his father, having seemingly popped out of nowhere. </p><p>Looking nervous, Artemis Sr bit into a cookie. </p><p>"These are amazing boys!" he said while grimacing. "Could you hand me a napkin?" </p><p>Myles gave Artemis Sr one of the handkerchiefs he always seemed to have with him. </p><p>"Do you want another cookie dad?" Beckett asked, hoping he would say yes. </p><p>"No thanks, the one I had was enough for me until after supper!” </p><p>He grabbed his stomach. "If you'll excuse me, I have to use the washroom kids, sorry." </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>"I told you using salt instead of sugar would be a good idea." Beckett said, smiling cheerfully. </p><p>"It was a smart idea." Artemis said with a smile and patted Beckett's head. "Are you ready for phase two twins?" </p><p>"Yeah!" Beckett shouted while Myles nodded his head. </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>“Dad! Can you play with superheroes with me? Myles is busy doing dumb stuff with Artemis.” </p><p>“Sure chum. Just let me finish this quickly, alright?” </p><p>“Ok dad! Just do it quickly.” </p><p>Beckett rocked back and forth on his heels for a few seconds as he waited. </p><p>“Are you ready to play now dad?” </p><p>Artemis Sr sighed, “Sure, just let me save this quickly one second.” </p><p>“I’ll set up my action figures!”</p><p>“You can play with this one. Her name is Philip and I'll play with the one with the cape, his name is abigail. They switched names because they wanted to confuse the assassins.” </p><p>“Oh, really? That’s neat.” Artemis Sr said, feigning interest. </p><p>“I’m the hero, and you have to be the villain that wants to destroy the city of bugs. I used my bug friends to be the bug citizens of the city. Over there is “Ant Arcade,” an arcade for ants, and you’re next to the spider salon.” </p><p>“That's very interesting Beckett, but I have to go do, um, grown up stuff now.” Artemis Sr said as he stood up, panicking. Artemis Sr grabbed the laptop he’d been trying to use, and frantically wiped his pants nervously as he tried not to sprint out of the living room. </p><p>"Already! But we didn't even properly play dad!" Beckett said, pretending to pout. </p><p>"I'm sorry chum," he said chuckling awkwardly as he paused near the door, “but this is way more important right now. We can play some more later.” </p><p>"Fine." Beckett said, feigning a disappointed look. </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>“I think our plan is working Artemis! Dad left halfway through me telling him about the town and we didn't even get to playing properly!” </p><p>“I’m guessing you used your bugs for your town Beckett?” </p><p>“Yeah, I did, why?” </p><p>“No reason.” </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>"Father! Can you help me tie my tie? Artemis is busy, and he always helps me tie it." </p><p>"Alright chum." Artemis said grimacing, but not saying anything. </p><p>"Can you also help me double check the math Artemis gave me to do earlier? I think I mixed up some numbers, and I didn’t want to ask you, but you’re the only one that’s not busy right now." </p><p>"Of course chum, what do you need me to check?" </p><p>"Here." Myles handed Artemis Sr a notebook filled with complicated math questions and equations. </p><p>Artemis Sr looked inside for a few seconds before snapping the book shut again. </p><p>“Why don’t you ask your big sister for help when she’s finished whatever it was she’s doing later instead?” </p><p>"Do you mean Artemis, dad? We don’t have a sister, don’t you remember?" </p><p>“...” Artemis sighed, “Yes, I meant Artemis.”</p><p>“But he’s busy.” </p><p>“That’s why I said to <em>wait</em> Myles.” Artemis Sr snapped. </p><p>He sighed, and got up from the dining table where he had been attempting to eat. </p><p>“I forgot kids were such a pain.” He mumbled under his breath, too quietly for Myles to hear as he left the room. </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>"Angeline, I think I might just have to come with you next time you leave. It'll do us some good to have a break from the kids and some alone time, with just the two of us." </p><p>“Oh, that would be amazing Artemis, hon! We haven't had some proper time to ourselves since you've returned from the hospital. We can go visit Margaret's new hotel! She's opening a new chain of her hotels in Sweden and we just <em>have</em> to visit the grand opening." </p><p>"That sounds wonderful dear! When do you want to leave?" </p><p>"Well, Margaret's is planning to have her grand opening on the first, so it is probably best to leave the day after tomorrow if we want to arrive on the first." </p><p>"That sounds amazing dear, I'll get Butler to pack me a bag tomorrow." </p><p>"Isn't Butler upset with you?" </p><p>"..." </p><p>"Maybe you should try to pack your own clothing then dear, I'll do my best to help if you need." </p><p>"That is probably for the best." </p><p>(In the end, Butler ended up having to help regardless.)</p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>“Are mother and father in their room Butler?" </p><p>"Yes, they’re trying to pack from what I can tell. I think your father is joining your mother next time she leaves." </p><p>"I hope you're right Butler." </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>“I will be joining your mother on her next trip. Artemis and Butler will be in charge, alright kiddos?”</p><p>Myles and Beckett nod, grinning. </p><p>Their plan had worked. Their father was at last going to leave the manor, and with him gone they could get rid of him. (Not through murder, for that is far too kind for their father. No, not murder.) Through the legal route that they had left to their older brother to plan out, for he knew far more about laws then them so would logically be the better choice to leave it to, although Myles thought he could do a pretty good job if he tried himself too. </p><p>They had all agreed that it would be far more fun to do things legally so their father would have no way of undoing it easily. </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>Artemis was attempting to draft legal documents, that if he could get his father to sign would leave him with full control of the manor and the guardian of the twins. Luckily Artemis had just turned 18 a month or so ago, and was quite versed in the legal language favoured by the court of the law, and as such was easily able to write out a document that would be quite tricky to get out of without his help and permission. He was glad that he had spent those extra few months required to research the legalities involved in gaining guardianship a few months ago. </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>"Mother, father.  You need to sign this before you leave, and, before you ask, the twins are playing outside with Butler. They'd told me to tell you that they didn't want to say goodbye again, in case you were wondering where they were." </p><p>"Thank you for telling us dear. I'll sign this quickly for you guys." Angeline said signing blindly while she looked for her earring. "Honey, sign quicker please. We need to be on the plane soon if we want to get to Margaret's opening on time." </p><p>"What are the document's for Arty?" Artemis Sr asked as he signed the documents. </p><p>"School and medical things." Artemis said</p><p>Artemis Sr nodded. </p><p>“That makes sense, take care of your brothers.” </p><p>Artemis nodded, "I will, don’t worry father." <em> I’ll definitely do a better job at it than you two ever did. </em> he added in his head.</p><p>"Have a good flight mother and father." He said, giving them a short, and visibly forced looking smile. </p><p>"Thank you dear!" Angeline said, choosing to ignore the smile Artemis had given as she kissed Artemis' forehead while she walked out the door. </p><p>"Don't go into our rooms." Artemis Sr said as he stepped out the door. "Oh, and you can call or email if you need more money." Artemis Sr added as an afterthought before he quickly closed the door. </p><p>Artemis gave a sigh of relief as he locked the door and went to find where his brothers and Butler had gone. </p><p>"They are at last gone. Thank goodness." </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>"Mother and father have left, and I am hoping for quite a while this time, and they have, whether they know it or not, signed custody of me over to you meaning, legally I am now your guardian." </p><p>"Yay!" Beckett cheered loudly, jumping up and down in excitement. </p><p>"Thank goodness, I had been sick of our father not respecting you, and I am glad I no longer have to suffer through mother's habit of smoking in the evenings." Myles said. </p><p>"Her smoking was icky." Beckett said in agreement with Myles. </p><p>"Now that this is sorted out, why don't you call one of your friends Artemis? It would do you good to talk to a friend, especially considering you haven't talked to many people in a little while since you've had to deal with your father for longer than you expected."</p><p>Artemis nodded.</p><p>"I agree Butler, I will call Minerva later, and my other friends when I know the twins won't be <em>eavesdropping</em>." Artemis said, shouting the last word. </p><p>"Sorry Artemis!" Myles called from behind the door where he was hiding with Beckett. </p><p>"I'm not!" Beckett said, "I want to hear Artemis talk to his girlfriend~!" Beckett said in a singsong voice. </p><p>“She’s not my girlfriend.” Artemis shouted as he went to his room to call Minerva. </p><p> </p><p>-- </p><p> </p><p>“Hello Minerva, how have you been?" </p><p>"I've recently acquired a new painting, so I’m doing quite well, how have you been?" </p><p>“I've gained custody of my brothers, and my transphobic parents have gone jet-setting. If they decide to return home, they will find themselves unable to return to the manor, so I would say I am doing pretty well myself." </p><p>"I truly am glad that you're finally out of your parent's clutches, Artemis. I've got transphobic family that I have only recently been able to get rid of too, so I can understand how you might be feeling right now." </p><p>“Truly, I’m rather relieved. Butler was the one to raise me, my parents did not do that much, so me and the twins are in good hands.” </p><p>“I’m glad for you Artemis.” </p><p>“Now that our more serious talk is over, would you like to come meet my brother’s properly soon?” </p><p>“I would <em>love</em> to.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The amazing art is by <a href="https://sapphicjulietbutler.tumblr.com/">sapphicjulietbutler</a> on tumblr!!</p><p> </p><p>  </p><p>--</p><p>This story is part of the <a>LLF Comment Project</a>, which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:</p><p>Feedback</p><ul>
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